I have a ‘Thing’; I don’t know if psychologists have a term for it, but it’s real. It’s called “The Fear of ‘Failing Because Of Fear’.” Like all introverts, I’m...
“You will only be defined by how you define yourself” ~ BLQuotes
Many people have fears as a result of either been told they were not good enough, their good was not acknowledged or met with strong destructive criticism. I was never any of that or rather those weren’t the reason for my fears. My own was a definition I gave to myself. I cannot exactly state when it all began but for someone who was in the choir in primary school, literacy and debating club in secondary school; it shouldn’t be so right? Just before you answer, ask what this fear was. Well you just have to read on.
I was defined by low self-esteem and the fear of the unknown. I felt comfortable because there was a routine and rules of behavior back in the levels of school I attended prior. When I got to the University, – where you become the behavioral police of yourself – I found out that I began to sink into a hole of not being good enough. As much as I tried to keep a straight face about it, it was eating me within.
There was so much that I could do but was so afraid to do because I didn’t want to disappoint myself, my dad especially and all my loved ones. I began to just move with whatever my comfort zone offered. I was always told how intelligent I was, these and that; but I was my own problem.
Fast forward to 2010 after I had met my then friend (now Husband and best friend). He was one person that pushed me (indirectly) to face my fears. You may ask how? Well, it was his love for me that gave me the drive to face my fears head on. As I grew in love with him every day, I began to realize that when you love someone, you do what you think you fear the most to make them happy (emphasis on think). I remember going out for the first time, unafraid of how people look at me and think of me. I opened a blog and began putting all my writings that had only seen the light of my room on there. I looked forward to working in an office as an Architect and generally I looked forward to a beautiful life.
The moment I made up my mind, I told God to help me to see failure as part of my journey. I believed in me more than anything and began to face my fears with God on my side, one at a time. And this led me to heights that I didn’t know I could reach. I am that Architect who has had and still have the opportunity of working on international projects; and finally moved to start her own company which had been registered for years but was operating in fear. I am that lady who has had and still have the opportunity of sharing and encouraging lots of people (old and young) through her writings and word of mouth and the list goes on. I am that lady who is choosing to only be great because that is my DNA.
I was afraid of the unknown but now I look forward to the future because I am going to fill it up with all that will only make it beautiful. Love propels me to face every fear that comes along my way head on.
If no one encourages you or cheers you own, I am here rooting for you and cheering you on to be the best you God designed you to be. Let your desire for a bright future propel you to break up with this life sucking disease called fear. Fear is a limitation that keeps you from achieving the best of you yet. Write those things you are afraid of and with God, face them head one, one after the other.
I am the dreamer who broke up with fear… Now I am living my dream. Let’s live our dreams together!
My name is Phebe Olaniran (Mrs.O’). A Christian full-time Wife, Mom, Architect/Designer and Idea Woman. When I am not designing, writing or thinking, you will find me creating recipes for my family. Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram – @blifecorner. Visit www.blcorner.com and feel free to subscribe.