I learned that I can choose to see failure as the end of the world and as a proof of just how inadequate I am. Or, I can see failing...
As humans, we all experience fear in one way or the other; it is a natural response to our uncertainties and challenges. Remember the first time you wanted to start something new, there was this small voice of doubt that could be heard within; while we all experience this in one way or the other, some have become paralysed by the effects of FEAR while some have been able to turn their FEAR to FUEL.
Fear could be linked to different causes, for instance, having critical or unsupportive parents is a cause for some people. Because they were routinely undermined or humiliated in childhood, they carry those negative feelings into adulthood. Experiencing a traumatic event at some point in your life can also be a cause. For example, say that several years ago you gave an important presentation in front of a large group, and you did very poorly, you may develop a belief that could hinder you from taking necessary steps in future.
Mine was a combination of all that is stated above.
Growing up as kids, we were told times without number to obey our parents, to follow the path they had planned for us. We always had to seek their approval to do the things we wanted, most of which were turned down; overtime, I developed the belief that if my approvals will eventually be turned down, then why even make a proposal at all. And this was carried into adulthood.
For me, I really felt it when I had just finished my National Youth Service, during which I decided to change my career path from Engineering to Human and Corporate Development, a subject I had little or no knowledge in.
Around the same time, I and a friend had invested about 2.5 million Naira in a startup and over a period of nine months, we had lost everything. I almost lost every hope of starting anything new, I lost the desire to dream again, talk more of pursuing my new found purpose in helping individuals and organizations maximize their potentials, of which I had little or no knowledge. My self-confidence and audacity had literally deepened.
After procrastinating and trying to avoid getting into anything that looked like business, purpose or innovation, I decided to give my dreams a chance. I envision having one of the top 5 Personal and Corporate Development firms in Nigeria by 2025, with products and services that span Coaching, Consulting, Training, Therapy and other such services.
I began to read about icons that had come back from loss, those who had started new things from the scratch and eventually lived their dreams, providing solutions to the world. I researched on the top local and international gurus and strategists in my new field, most of who had similar experiences like mine.
By this time, I had understood that fear is rooted in our ignorance; the knowledge, understanding, information, exposure or experience that we do not yet have, and if I could go for all that, then my fears could be turned into the fuel I need to bring my dreams to reality.
I realized that my future didn’t have to be equal to my past, if I could just step out and dare the things I feared, with time I would have the same results as the people I look up to.
The path may not have been a sweet sail, but along the way I have taken new steps, developed new beliefs and built my confidence. I have come up with projects, products and services that support my dreams; I have trained and consulted for many organizations, both local and international.
I am well on my way, but to get to this point, I had to break up with my fears.
My name is Ojobo Agbo, I am the dreamer who broke up with fear….now I am living my dream. Let’s live our dreams together!
Ojobo Agbo is a Life, Behavior and Result Strategist, a Certified Life and Emotions Coach, Therapist and Trainer. I am in the business of helping individuals, professionals and businesses overcome the limitations that keep them at a particular level, so they can “Live Better, Perform Better and Get Better Results.”